So last night I ripped the band-aid off. I went to the bar where my ex took me when I visited him in March.
To get me here for a visit he'd told me he still loved me, I was his Ottawa, the memories he derived from Ottawa. When I got here (on my dime) he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship, he liked his life uncomplicated and didn't want to be attached to anyone cause he was going to Afghanistan, blah, blah, blah.
Well...last night he went off and sat with his girlfriend. Hrm... I guess I really was the 3000 km boody call he had insisted I wasn't before cutting contact with me. Thats right. After I got back he didn't talk to me AT ALL!
I told him right off. I told him that he was worse than the person in my life he loathes the most. The person who shouldn't have been with me through more crap lately has been. Who above all shouldn't have held me when I cried about HIM did...
I needed to realize this for myself. I had glamourized my Albertan ex so much that I couldn't see the reality of what he really is. A spineless jackass who would do anything for a piece of ass, even if it means using the most powerful word in the english language and taking advantage of someone who doesn't open up very often.
His career choice may make him look brave on the outside but thats just a facade.
I feel a huge weight has been lifted and now instead of his heart around my neck I now hold the key to my own.
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