Sigh of relief

So last night I ripped the band-aid off. I went to the bar where my ex took me when I visited him in March.
To get me here for a visit he'd told me he still loved me, I was his Ottawa, the memories he derived from Ottawa. When I got here (on my dime) he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship, he liked his life uncomplicated and didn't want to be attached to anyone cause he was going to Afghanistan, blah, blah, blah.

Well...last night he went off and sat with his girlfriend. Hrm... I guess I really was the 3000 km boody call he had insisted I wasn't before cutting contact with me. Thats right. After I got back he didn't talk to me AT ALL!

I told him right off. I told him that he was worse than the person in my life he loathes the most. The person who shouldn't have been with me through more crap lately has been. Who above all shouldn't have held me when I cried about HIM did...

I needed to realize this for myself. I had glamourized my Albertan ex so much that I couldn't see the reality of what he really is. A spineless jackass who would do anything for a piece of ass, even if it means using the most powerful word in the english language and taking advantage of someone who doesn't open up very often.

His career choice may make him look brave on the outside but thats just a facade.
I feel a huge weight has been lifted and now instead of his heart around my neck I now hold the key to my own.

Leaving day

All my bags are pack I'm ready to go...

Three suitcases in fact, one I call the "shoecase" cause it's simply filled with shoes.
I've been trying to get through to Bell for inquires as to my new number and I can't seem to get there. Also, apparently the airport shuttle won't drop off at apartments or even the hotel closest my new place. This is becoming a very frustrating day.

I'm still working on my mini, trying to stumble my way around setting it up. I'm not cut out for technology

*head desky*

It will all be worth it but FUCK ME!!!

*note: The guy I finally got a hold of at Bell barely speaks english and I don't speak french. I'm gonna cry

Packing = hell

So I don't know how I'm gonna fit two months of my style of wardrobe into two suitcases.
This is getting to be a little intense. I still have a tonne of clothes drying downstairs and I've mostly filled up the first suitcase.
Not to mention shoes, accessories, make-up and toiletries.
OY!

4 more sleeps

Oh my gosh... 4 more sleeps till I step on a plane and go west for 2 months.
I'm gonna miss my kids, my Ont friends and some of my family but thats about it.
Ottawa has been a miserable place for me for the last 29 years.... I think a change of venue is in order for sure.

I've made lodging arrangements, I have money in the bank and I'm hoping to get summer employment while I'm out there to aid in the moneys situ.

For now I dive back into the masses and masses of laundry I still have yet to wash, dry, fold and pack.

The weekend before my trip is so busy I'll bearly have time to think.
Tomorrow I'm at Fringe Festival with Jake, then Saturday it's Avenue Q with Ginger, The Predicament and a few others before heading over to The Predicament's place for my going away party. Sunday I have a photo shoot and then quality time with The Predicament.
Monday I finish packing and I. Am. OUTTA HERE!!!